Story: Mohanlal plays Chandrashekhar,a defeated IPS officer, who takes his personal briefcase of losses to work. He unlike Sherlock Holmes who uses cocaine, plays chess in office to keep his mind alert. Chess references abound in the movie, as a serial killer challenges Chandra to a game which combines crime and personal life. There is a trail of murdered women. Nothing is out of bounds, as Chandra accepts the challenge. Lalu Alex is the killer. (I’m kidding! he is not there in the film)

Good:

10,000 feet view of B.Unnikrishnan’s “Grand Master” comes down to three people – B.Unnikrishnan, Mohanlal, and Babu Antony.

B.Unnikrishnan – is an award winning script writer, and I have thoroughly enjoyed most of his movies. His attention to detail of the dialect in “Madambi” was remarkable, and his story “Aviramam” in Kerala Cafe was delightful. I have not watched “Jalamarmaram” but “Grand Master” is B. Unnikrishnan’s most intelligent script to date. There are ‘educated’ comments in forums which say it was adapted/loosely based etc on an Agatha Christie work, by people who I am sure haven’t read Agatha Christie nor watched “Grand Master”. It’s one of those “Chutiye tu retire ho ja , tera time khatam” moments of movie reviewing. B.Unnikrishnan skillfully weaves the crime and the mind of the investigating officer without loud, unending action scenes, or thank God! slow motion (which Shaji Kailas claims he invented). There are enough breadcrumbs in the movie to crack the case, and so unlike S.N.Swami, B.Unnikrishnan does not insult our intelligence. And not the least, it’s a relief in the age of “Inception” esque scripts to watch a good old rough on the edges whodunit, though it might take more than one viewing to catch some subtleties. I mean even after two decades, majority of the folks who enjoyed “Manichitrathazhu” haven’t yet started to think ‘why’ Ganga transforms to Nagavalli.

Mohanlal – is an award winning malayalam actor, and I have run into trouble before when I called Mammootty the undisputed number two actor in malayalam. But one has to admit, it’s true. Because when Mohanlal finds a character that resonates with the actor that he is, he delivers sheer onscreen magic. While “Grand Master” doesn’t compare to lets say “Bhramaram” (which I think is Mohanlal’s role of the decade), there is a sense of calm and ease with which the actor fits into the character of Chandrashekar. Mohanlal plays his age and his physical form, and is completely at ease as he carries the movie. Anoop Menon, Priyamani, Jagathy, and Narain support well, but this is a Mohanlal movie. It’s one of those movies like “Udhayananu Tharam” where after the intro scene you forget you are watching a Mohanlal movie. A well played performance which constantly dodges our attempts at getting into the head of Chandra to figure out how he is going to crack the case.

Babu Antony – is often called an actor by mistake, and is the most hilarious part of “Grand Master”. Now calling Babu Antony an actor is like calling Vinayan a film director. I will watch this movie again for comic relief to see Babu Antony play Babu Antony playing a psycho. It is so much fun to see one of the more limited actors (he stays exactly where he started in ‘Chilambu’) in the industry struggle to fit his eight feet four inch frame into an unstable psycho’s skin. Personally I am a big Babu Antony fan, but I haven’t seen a more funny psycho since Vineeth played one in “Maanathe Vellitheru”. Kudos to B.Unnikrishnan, next time try Kunchacko Boban.

Bad:

Treatment & shoddy camera work – Great whodunits like “Ee Thanutha Veluppan Kalathu” mesmerize the audience with a heady mix of lighting, mood setting back ground score, and a camera that move like a cautious cat. The cats who made “Grand Master” while coming up with a good script entirely loses sight of the details. B.Unnikrishnan who carefully delivered “Madambi” & “Smart City” fails the viewers in this one, and prevents the movie from going to higher places in the pecking order of malayalam thrillers.

Verdict: It’s too early to say if Mohanlal has rediscovered himself like Bachchan did, but this a terrific start if he is trying. It is a highly watchable malayalam thriller without the noises, and thank god! slow motion (which Shaji Kailas claims he invented).

There was a city where all traffic lights were female. Instead of green, yellow and red, they signalled emerald, ochre and magenta.

Do you read espresso stories? sample this.

Now the problem with stories tailor made for our fast world is that they end up tasting like alkali, some ambivalent sticky sensation. Intellectuals like me have to pretend and nod and say “hey cool” while “wtf” reels at the tip of the tongue. Then espresso is ok ’cause it takes less than a minute to read a story. NO Smoking – the movie, lasts two good hours and makes little sense.(if you are one of those who need clean shaves). You have to drop all those masks and offer salutations to the sheer arrogance of India’s most promising director – Anurag Kashyap.

Sitting in the city’s reputed bar all through Saturday, smoking Goldflake Kings, we got frantic calls after the matinee and first show from friends who were moving from psychosis to neurosis (unable to find their way to the next whiskey bar) after trying to analyze the movie. As a preparatory measure for second show, we solved three Shakuntala Devi and two George Summers puzzles (swear! we really did) across beef and beer. And then our “Black friday” man did us, Anurag Kashyap just did us.

The first half of No Smoking is brilliant. It surpasses hollywood standards in the way the story is told. The settings are impeccable. We were about call it for No Smoking as the best hindi movie ever made when the second half began. In the second half there are scenes, dialogues and a few songs. You wait scene after scene hoping that the next one will explain everything, then the credits roll. High and dry and taste of alkali.

Story line: K (John Abraham) is a chain smoker with an attitude problem. His wife Anjali (Ayesha Takia) threatens to leave him if he does not change his habits. His mysterious friend Abbas Tyrewala (Ranvir Sheorey) recommends him to a rehabilitation centre. When K arrives there he finds out that the place is no ordinary centre which uses standard methods of making you quit smoking. It’s run by Baba Bengali (Paresh Rawal) who forcefully makes K sign on an agreement where the former will abide by Baba’s conditions in order to quit smoking or else will have to face dire consequences.

“Chutiye tu retire ho ja , tera time khatam” – Anurag Kashyap

The reviews have been very harsh,

So that’s one out of five for Anurag Kashyap’s No Smoking, he’s now a director who’s earned the unique distinction of giving us both, one of the best and one of the worst films of the year.

Rajeev Masand (the Last Word in Bollywood – the last word in mallu films is Seema – After she said “Kalapani” was better than “Kazhakam”, I still think “Avalude Raavukal” is better than “Kinnarathumbikal”)

And Anurag Kashyap reacted (and hell! what a reaction it is)

“Khalid reviewed me and not the film and from his review all i can say is neither has he read “Quitter’s inc” nor has he seen “cat’s eye”.. he just read the comments on PFC.. and i will say to him is , “Chutiye tu retire ho ja , tera time khatam.””

But then he explained the movie a bit, and it makes a little more sense now,

the film is about my struggle against the system to have the freedom to (smoke)make films..

GIVE ME THE LIBERTY TO KNOW , TO UTTER , TO ARGUE FREELY ACCORDING TO MY CONSCIENCE ABOVE ALL LIBERTIES

since i do not have the liberty, and i get banned everytime i am directly stating my opinions(we started shooting much before Black friday got the clearence), one has to wage a guerilla war.. no smoking is my guerrilla war.. and in the end the man loses to the system and the only way he can survive is after having lost his soul(freedom)..

Verdict : Hit or Flop, No Smoking is a very important movie. You could call it pseudo-intellectual, but that would be trivialising the effort, thought and courage that went into this movie. It may not be same as ”Black Friday”, but if anyone wants “Black Friday” there is no choice but to watch the movie again.

There isn’t a scene in the movie that can be called bad, in that way it is one of the best shot movies in bollywood. It is subtle (a little extra) and intelligent. This movie will not be a hit, it doesn’t deserve to be and the director did not want this to be, but someday it will find its audience(who’ll have to watch it over and over).

The director has taken liberties at will and the movie is entertaining. Paresh Rawal and his dungeon are masterpieces to be preserved. There is a scene where John Abraham’s character tries to escape from the dungeon, nobody knows what hell is, but the depiction comes pretty close to Dante’s.

I wouldn’t say “go watch it”, you can miss it at your own risk. The movie was confusing for me, but still enjoyable. I would rather that Anurag stick a warning in the promos saying “NO SMOKING – Lightly injurious to mental health if you try to analyze, watch at your own risk, the director has made the movie for himself and not for you“

What was Howard Roark’s problem?