One and the only

After these months of blogging,when I look back,its feels so awful that I have not lend any space here to the person I adore , admire, hear and read about the most . The one person who brings a smile to my face every single day knowingly and unknowingly . So now is the time for my man,My Hero.

“They misunderestimated me.”

Any day at work,if the morning stampede of emails is too much for me to take,I close my lotus notes and browse through the Leno,Stewart,Colbert and Letterman’s ‘late night jokes’ . They would have said something very funny about my guy and folks that would be the hundredth time I’m hearing it,but it makes my day. Some real gems (yeah you’ve read it before !),

“President Bush traveled to his ranch in Texas for a ten-day vacation. The president said now is the perfect time to take a vacation when everything in the world is running so smoothly.” -Conan O’Brien

“President Bush is now in the second week of his five-week vacation down there in Crawford, Texas. He’s been taking a lot of criticism for this long vacation and his aides say he has his laptop with him so he can still play Solitaire and Minesweep – so it’s business as usual.” -Jay Leno

“President Bush earned $400,000 for his job as president last year. That’s not really that much for being president when you think about it. But President Bush, he doesn’t do it for the money, he does it for the eight months of vacation every year.” —Jay Leno

“White House officials said today President Bush took three books with him to Texas. Three! That pretty much empties the Bush library.” -Jay Leno

“President Bush said catching a 7.5 pound fish was his best moment since becoming president. You know the sad thing, a lot of historians would agree with that.” –Jay Leno

“No, he was fishing on his ranch. He has a manmade lake that is artificially stocked with fish, and let’s not forget the scuba divers who are under there who actually put the fish on the hook for him. And then Cheney comes over and they literally shoot fish in a barrel. The part I love is that he says he caught a 7.5 pound perch, when the biggest perch on record is 4.3 pounds. Bush lied and a fish died, that’s all I have to say. And Cheney went even further. He said when they pulled the fish out of the water it greeted them as liberators.” –Bill Maher

“President Bush announced that the federal deficit is actually $296 billion less than originally forecast. It’s less, yeah. The president credits low unemployment, high job growth, and the fact that he did the math himself.” –Conan O’Brien

President Bush was in Los Angeles yesterday where he announced his new campaign theme — ‘Safer, Stronger, and Tested.’ Isn’t that a condom ad?” —Jay Leno

“Both candidates now are trying to lower expectations for how they’ll do on the debates. For example, Kerry tried to lower expectations for himself by saying Bush has never lost a debate and that he is a formidable opponent. Then Bush lowered expectations for himself when he said, ‘Hey, what does “formable” mean?'” -Jay Leno

President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It’s a stationary bike.” —Jay Leno

“The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was under attack. He said he was ‘collecting his thoughts.’ What a time to start a new hobby.'” -Bill Maher

And someone said ,one of the books my Hero has taken with him to Texas for vacation reading is Lincoln’s biography ,boy, dude will be really upset when he finally reads the chapter where Wilkes Booth assasinates Lincoln .It would be a terrible shock , feel sad for him.

In case nobody else has said anything about him,Dubya would say something himself ,like ‘They misunderestimated me.’ . Its like whenever I’ve done something really stupid and feel all alone , I go directly to CNN and checkout what Dubya has said lately . After that its that feeling of brotherhood man.

“I believe that a prosperous, democratic Pakistan will be a steadfast partner for America, a peaceful neighbor for India, and a force for freedom and moderation in the Arab world.”
-Dubya , Islamabad, Pakistan, March 3, 2006

“I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.” -Dubya,Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

“The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself.” —Dubya,Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003

“I hear there’s rumors on the Internets that we’re going to have a draft.” —Dubya,presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004

“It is white.” —Dubya,after being asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like, July 19, 2001

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” — Dubya,Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” —Dubya,Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

Well…… we too have a prime minister in India . When someone told me our next PM is a sardar I had great expectations . Guys, democracy is boring (bigtime !) unless you have guys like Dubya . Our Sardar ,leave alone cracking a joke ,actually read out from a notebook while proposing a toast to that chick – my Hero’s wife when she came calling . How can a person lead one billion people with no humour sense . Sardar’s so stoic , so red-taped – neways, he is no leader of the nation , just a chief executive.

As if we care 🙂

“no no Mr President its not Ali Baba ,no not Ali Baba …its AYATOLLAH….no he didnt kill fourty terrorists….yeah…oh…ok…its my pleasure…ok bye”

sorry guys that was my Hero on phone….so…ciao 🙂

21 Responses to One and the only

  1. silverine August 14, 2006 at 2:16 am #

    Just today I was cursing our boring PM. I would loved to take pot shots at him :))

  2. starry nights August 14, 2006 at 3:20 am #

    Your Hero! (sigh) nice post and humerous too. I like all those clips from Jay Leno .

  3. mathew August 14, 2006 at 5:28 am #

    Lol!!..funny dude..

    George bush rocks..eh..
    Wish he did some rifle practice ,holding it the other way around..

    Seriously it can happen to him..such a “genius” he is!!! 😉

  4. Dew Drops August 14, 2006 at 5:28 am #

    how the hell did u collect such beautiful quotes. *goota book mark and copy paste in my blog..mmmmmmmmmmm*

  5. b v n August 14, 2006 at 5:48 am #

    silverine,lets make lalu PM

    starry nights,thanks :),some ppl like hillary…i like dubya

    mathew,if their prez were clever,I wudnt be havin a job now,thank H W Bush !

  6. b v n August 14, 2006 at 5:52 am #

    Dew,
    you wouldnt believe,i wrote all those quotes myself and that wicked foto of Dubya…i took it with my own camera !
    promise 🙂

  7. alex August 14, 2006 at 7:01 am #

    LOL…real cool…Michael Moore is a fan of Bush too.
    Wonder how people stand that guy..
    Poor Americans..
    Like the on in which he fell off a stationary bicycle.

  8. Rose August 14, 2006 at 2:55 pm #

    ROTFL… 😀

    Made my day alrite..

    :)))

    ..Me

  9. b v n August 14, 2006 at 4:53 pm #

    alex,moore made a lot of money with Dubya….and imagine what fun the yankees are having in the last six years…i’m jealous :0

    rose, 🙂

  10. neihal August 15, 2006 at 4:04 pm #

    I have to do this..hahahahahaha
    done. I think Lincoln will be equally upset that Dubya got hold of his biography…god only knows how Dubya will interpret it.

  11. b v n August 15, 2006 at 5:08 pm #

    neihal,Dubya will be terrified when he knows there was a civil war in USA…and maybe he’ll invade canada for that LOL

  12. dwaipayan August 16, 2006 at 3:37 am #

    you have an interesting way of putting things

  13. sanchapanzo August 16, 2006 at 4:11 pm #

    bvn,

    dubya is always a riot

    wish, even india could have stand-up comedians like this. remember, cho was very good in that. but not many after that. rest, seem to be too hot-headed!

  14. neihal August 16, 2006 at 4:11 pm #

    I dont think he’ll be able to attack….he will need atleast one full term to locate where canada is..what say you??

  15. b v n August 16, 2006 at 7:40 pm #

    dwaipayan, welcome 🙂

    sancha, you are right,but cho was riot because he knew,dubya is a riot cause he’s got no clue

  16. b v n August 16, 2006 at 7:42 pm #

    neihal, you got me on that one…LOL !! brazil needs to be careful if Dubya wants to invade Canada 🙂

  17. Velu Nair August 17, 2006 at 4:06 am #

    Amidst this political rubble, just dropped by to say..

    പുതുവത്സരാശംസകള്‍!!
    🙂

  18. sanchapanzo August 17, 2006 at 3:45 pm #

    bvn,

    i was trying to draw a comparison with those dirty old wise men of US of A like Bill Maher or George Carlin or Jay Leno with that of Cho. All these folks seem to be wise.

    But somehow our politicians seem to be too hot-headed to take criticism in the postive sense and thus there are hardly any comical political commentators nowadays 🙁

    US is really lucky in that sense

  19. Soumyadip August 18, 2006 at 11:43 am #

    Irrespective of their huge differences in IQs, the Prez of the US does give more bearable speeches – even with his foot stuck firmly between his teeth – than our learned man in the blue turban. SMS is a good man, but good is often boring.

  20. b v n August 18, 2006 at 7:00 pm #

    Velu,പുതുവത്സരാശംസകള്‍ mashukkum !!

    Sancha, in the mood i thought Dubya was a standup comedian :)…you are right !!!…but its not only politicians…i read those SRK interviews lately…why is that guy so pissed off with media,its us movie goers who shud be pissed off with him.(but still he is King Khan :))

    Soumya, you just said what i thought while writing this post !!..yesterday i was watching a podcast of singh’s speech in the upper house .he is good man,but the speech was so pathetic.

  21. Archana August 20, 2006 at 5:11 am #

    ROFL :-)))!

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