Our Lord of the Underworld

My Very Enormous Monster Just Sucked Up Nine Planets – was an easy,stupid line to remember those nine planets out there . But we never needed this line ,it came so easy to us mercury,venus ,us,mars…..pluto . So simple . It gave us a feeling that we knew something about that Cosmos out there , it was reassuring . Each of us would have experienced that unique , romantic feeling of gazing at a starry winter night sky and crying out loud “Mercury venus us mars jupiter saturn uranus neptune Pluto”. Oh that sexy feeling !!

And now they want Pluto to go . Pluto will no longer be a planet . Can you believe that !! . Our Pluto ,our greek lord of the underworld will now be called a ‘trans-Neptunian object’ . An object ?…is that how you treat a planet . Have these astronomer hippocrats given a slight consideration to what those cute aliens in Pluto will be feeling now . They think Pluto is Lebanon whom anyone can attack any given day . I challenge them to do the same with super powers like Saturn or Jupiter , that would be chivalry , that would be guts !! Not this.

Who gave these astronomers the right to decide this ? Are they saying my geography teacher was dumb . She was sexy – but that doesnt completely prove she was dumb . These astronomers balk in the Prague sun and suddenly decides to chuck out Pluto . Tommorrow they’ll meet in Geneva and decide Friday is not a day – as fries are not good for health or something like that . Would we accept that too ? lying down ,like this .

Now they might say , Pluto is not as big as mercury , it is smaller than the new feminist cosmic-object Xena and its just an ice cold ‘brown-dwarf ‘ phenomenon . C’mon…. details man details !! lets not discuss that . Science cant be based on facts,that too boring ones . Problem is you guys look into telescopes and come up with something , when you should actually be looking into your hearts and deciding . Think about our alien brothers out there…oh yes ! they are our brothers, remember , it all started one cold night , some good music and a big bang.

In another decades time this could happen,

kid : ‘wtf are planets’
dad : ‘oh yeah ! there are nine planets…’
kid : ‘you are a moron’
dad : ‘mercury venus us mars ……Pluto’
kid : ‘mom,this dude is shouting at me’
mom : ‘moron , go walk the dog …leave kid alone’


We cannot afford to look ridiculous because we were educated.And thats exactly whats gonna happen.

And what about those rhyming lines ? – My Very Enormous Monster Just Sucked Up Nine – thats it ? sucked up nine WHAT ….lollipops ? I’m ok , but try convincing Godzilla . Losers.

Another planetary issue . (Non-mallus might take a detour here)

What is this issue with Chingam one and Vishu . Like , you know all mallus wish each other ‘Happy mallu new year ‘ in April during Vishu and again they wished each other ‘Happy mallu new year ‘ last week for Chingam one . I’m confused,literally . To complete an year in three months – where is Kerala located in – Mercury ?

This time I have replied to all those ‘Happy mallu new year ‘ mails and phone calls . Now again if you wish me ‘Happy mallu new year ‘ in April – I’m gonna strike down upon thee with venegance and then you’ll know…. my name is Lord !

17 Responses to Our Lord of the Underworld

  1. Dew Drops August 19, 2006 at 5:32 pm #

    geeeee. three more anglican names to remember?? thank god that i cleared my school long bak. poor kids ;))))

  2. Thanu August 19, 2006 at 5:33 pm #

    My very educated mother just showed us nine planet……

    oh… this is gonna be

    My very educated mother just showed us nine …

  3. Jiby August 19, 2006 at 6:19 pm #

    adipoli post man!!! loved every bit of it…especially the comparing pluto to lebanon…lol!
    and yeah i need to ask my dad abt chingam1 and vishu…i keep forgetting always…actually i just asked him…and the question stumped him too…he is saying vishu is vishudina aashamsakal and not new year greetings, but i dont trust him…he hates not being able to answer a question from me!

  4. Jiby August 19, 2006 at 7:38 pm #

    hey are u a loyolite??? pappanabhan and i sure think so!

  5. b v n August 19, 2006 at 7:44 pm #

    Dew , yup…but atleast Pluto stays 🙂

    thanu , welcome 🙂 nine WHAT?…LOL

    Jiby, Thanks .You are close,not a loyolite….but we are very ancient Rivals.something like I read your Basketball post way back and felt exactly the opposite emotions.pappan and me go back to CET days 🙂

  6. starry nights August 20, 2006 at 12:35 am #

    HA HA HA this was funny. I cant believe they are taking pluto away.loved this post.

  7. alex August 20, 2006 at 6:08 pm #

    Well annhilation of Pluto as a planet is new to me too.
    And about the 2 malayalam new years, i havent noticed that till now. It sure is weird.
    Do sexy and foolishness have a high correlation?
    Lol 🙂

  8. Soumyadip August 21, 2006 at 6:54 am #

    Good post. Especially liked the Pluto Lebanon comparison.

  9. neihal August 21, 2006 at 6:55 am #

    Thank god…it didnt happen when I was in school…else I’d have relearn everything…and that too with my geography teacher..who was such a pain to anybody’s eyes…(and nose too)…Thank God.

  10. neihal August 21, 2006 at 6:55 am #

    and hey…my blogroll has been showing an update on your blog for last three days…but I could see the new post today only…same happnd last time also…

    (Please dont blame the scientist…they have nothing to do with it)

  11. b v n August 21, 2006 at 9:17 am #

    starry , it was decided this week that our dude stays as a planet..i’m relieved 🙂

    Alex , dont spend all your hours with stiglitz and sen…spend some of your genius for our galaxy too.a sexy figurine is fun…foolishness is also fun…both ways we win 🙂

    soumya, thanks man

    neihal, in that way my school was a small paradise..bad part is they said fun is over when we were seventeen 🙂

    happnd to me too,i actually wondered if i posted.i had to refresh firefox once…that worked

  12. neihal August 21, 2006 at 2:54 pm #

    “i actually wondered if i posted”
    spend less time reading abt Dubya 😀

  13. alex August 21, 2006 at 2:55 pm #

    @BVN
    a sexy figurine is fun…foolishness is also fun…both ways we win 🙂

    LOL…true…

    I need to spend some time with plato and marx!

  14. b v n August 21, 2006 at 9:20 pm #

    neihal , done deal 🙂

    Alex , i meant pluto and marx 🙂

  15. alex August 25, 2006 at 6:15 pm #

    @BVN ..lol
    Well i read today that pluto is gone…but it sure is not going to go from my mind!

  16. Soumyadip August 27, 2006 at 6:42 am #

    Good post. Especially liked the Pluto Lebanon comparison.

  17. Pinprick August 28, 2006 at 4:12 pm #

    aaahhhhh!!
    Why do you say that “mercury….,.nus,neptune”
    is sexy

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