Forrest Gump Confesses

The Forrest Gump of Global Terror has confessed. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is one of the three hundred and twenty seven (courtesy : random number generator) people the US considers to be Al-Qaeda No 3. This Global terrorist was arrested in March 2003 in Pakistan and was placed in Guantanamo Bay in Cuba. The terrorist confessed on March 10th of 2007.

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You might have heard this one, but can’t resist, this is my all time favourite. Once, way back in early 90’s there was a competition for the best police force in the world. The top three finalists were the Russians, Israelis and Kerala police. The challenge was to go into the Muthodi forest and catch three “absconding” tigers.

The Russians took the first turn, and after a day returned with the tiger. Next the Israelis went into the forest and caught the tiger in half a day. Finally, Kerala police went in. Days passed without any news and after a week a search team was sent out to look for them.

The search team found the KP guys just half a mile into the forest. There was a Bear tied to one of the trees and a constable was standing next to it, punching the bear in the stomach. The bear was wailing “I’m not a tiger,I’m not a tiger”. The Kerala police chief said ” we caught the tiger in less than ten minutes, but this sonofabitch is not confessing”.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has confessed to personally beheading journalist Daniel Pearl, 1993 World Trade Center bombing,Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks in the United States,”Filka Island Operation” in Kuwait, Bali bombings, Shoe-bomb plot for bombing trans-Atlantic flights, plotting to bomb Sears Towers and Empire State building, Plotting to assassinate all American Presidents including Jimmy Carter, Plotting to attack Straits of Hormuz, the Straits of Gibraltar, the Port of Singapore,Panama Canal, Heathrow Airport, Big Ben ,Canary WharfS,NATO headquarters in Brussels, Israel Embassies, US Embassies, plotting the Bojinka Operation to take down 12 American planes in Indonesia AND planning to Kill the Pope, Kill Musharraf and Kill Clinton.

Read full confession here (there are many that I left out after fainting)

Khalid is not just the Forrest Gump of terror, he is the James Bond of terror or rather the Rajnikanth of terror. Osama Bin Laden is reportedly fuming in his cave despite the Afghan winter. Reports say he feels betrayed and mugged in broad daylight. OBL is planning to confess and take responsibility for JFK assassination, Katrina Hurricane and Global Warming to regain his terror status.

Khalid in the meantime on a fast track to terror sainthood in Pakistan and the middle-east might claim responsibility for “plotting” in this mega case as well. That might be another feather in the cap for FBI and Kerala Police.

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6 Responses to Forrest Gump Confesses

  1. Neihal March 17, 2007 at 5:54 pm #

    LOL!!!
    special affinity to kerala police? 😀

    well even I dont understand this No 3,4,5,6….. of Al qaeda…..every time they get hold of someone he is some number for sure.

    you think the next US prez will be any better ??

  2. Soumyadip March 17, 2007 at 5:54 pm #

    Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is going to make the best out of this opportunity.

    Maybe Comrade Buddhadeb might also blame him for what happened at Nandigram.

  3. b v n March 18, 2007 at 6:33 am #

    Neihal, poor Dubya, why is he being blamed for everything 🙂

    Soumyadip, I actually checked yr blog for some reaction.

  4. Alex March 19, 2007 at 2:04 am #

    LOL.

    I too wondered about the ‘behind the scenes’ when i read this news item in the news paper.

  5. Soumyadip March 19, 2007 at 1:30 pm #

    Just too busy with other useless stuff to blog.

  6. Remitha March 19, 2007 at 3:13 pm #

    i was going to ask you if he could be the absconding sukumara kurup. but you beat me to it.

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