Diversity and fun at work – were finally,after years of consultancy and gallons of midnight mid-east oil, put forth as the two pillars that would drive the rudderless client corp. into the twenty second century.To build the first pillar, the company has recruited Nordic tribesmen,Texan minutesmen,Mihumuha moneymen and one talented Mr.Johnny.Johhny sits at the end of the aisle,near the tinted window facing the lake gazing intently throughout the day at eighteen wheelers skidding past on the highway in between miami rains.
Johnny was a truck-driver somewhere in south Nebraska and initially the company struggled to keep him occupied.Being the most diverse specimen in our portfolio he was made project alerter for decommisioned servers originally hosted way back in sixties out of Hanoi to help the war efforts.His job was to monitor a screen of green lights representing the various sectors of the multilayered hard drive and cry out ‘Charlie ! Charlie !’ in case one of them turned red.System architects would later clean up the drive with ‘Bietcong’ lotion developed by the voluptuous and sexy Indrani Sen,arguably indian(definitely Bengal).
All the while,we poor indian graduates led by programmed robocop look alikes are forced to take part in the ‘fun’ drives,part of the petit-bourgeoisi’s small struggle to keep afloat in the lake with a lot of other desi vendor-sharks.We ‘celebrated’ Thanksgiving – mostly about thanking Circuit city ,Dell and Jetblue for their fifty percent price slash,Halloween,Conserve Gasoline day – Johhny came to work in his eighteen wheeler,poor Indian graduates walked to work and OHYEAH,the icing on the cake OR rather the snakebite after the thunderlightning was the theme for 26th of January – Banana Republic day.
Greenback has more vanity in it than the troika,so we all wore yellow attires to work,rented yellow cars and painted our cubes yellow – color of the vazhapazham.In the last word of the last line I see the whole of north,east,west and south india spread-eagled before the collective mallu genius and shamelessly admitting they cant read THE word – well try coconut oil then.That was the day when Fausia,the chick from Al-il-cantsaythename in Bahrain stole the show with her green veil on top of the yellow dress,she looked as gorgeous as a real banana with a green shoot.Johnny got mesmerized and excited and in the true spirit of American truckies lifted up the veil to see how the face of the banana looked like.
I’ve never seen Johnny after that.Some truckie we met the other day in south fourfortyone said an aeroplane had crashed into Johnny a few months back and after a few minutes a second aeroplane had crashed into Tonny,his twin-brother in New Jersey.A third aeroplane heading towards Little Johnny – Johnny’s son, changed course after they realized the kid was as sexually frustrated as them,now they have formed a brotherhood and a sleeper cell.Well,thats pretty much about it.
And today it turns out the bigger evil is celebrating Gay and Lesbian month.In the true spirit of Tsar and Tsarina,the poor indian graduate has to jump up and down and celebrate something he’s only watched in metacafe and youtube.If he doesnt, some screwed up Rasputin whos good at it from Hosur road in south india might end the honeymoon and even manage a divorce,its all about bread and butter though I like some jam in between.Its not a day,but one whole month of twenty days that we have to celebrate.
In the war room it was Business as Usual,
‘Hey guys we need to do something about this gay and lesbian stuff’
‘Tell me,….what is stopping you from putting together something’
‘we..you know…you know …we you know right’
‘No see…if we dont do it,Rasputin will make the Tsar happy…and we’ll pack our bags’
‘okei…then let us start packing…but i want to wait till saturday…wanna say sugar bye bye to those angels in fourfourtyone’
‘you’re missing the point here…we cant leave the holy cow like that’
‘saar…but you know…we are all onehundred and thirty one percent occupied’
‘i’m just asking you to complete the two hundred!…PLEASE’
suddenly Rasputin’S face appeared on the plasma TV in the war room,the ugly face has a wide grin,
Rasputin said ‘ we have a loooong bench…one long bench of gays in Chennai and a looong bench of lesbians in Bhuvaneshwar…shall i bring them in?… LOSERS’
the face gradually disappeared.
We ‘HOLY LESBIAN COW !!’
man ‘LETS DO IT!!!’
everyone looked around the room,the pale new chap brokedown’Treat me like a brother…paleeese…paleeese…’
disclaimer : pure work of disorientation and depravity.blogger fully respects and at times loves multinational money machines,their indian counterparts,pimping as an artform,terrorists of all makes and firmly believes the holy cow is heterosexual.