Elections 2009: Saffron Gandhi and the Acharubishop

“If anyone raises a finger towards Hindus or if someone thinks that Hindus are weak and leaderless, if someone thinks that these leaders lick our boots for votes, if anyone raises a finger towards Hindus, then I swear on Gita that I will cut that hand.”  – Times

‘Gau hatya rukwana hai, Varun Gandhi ko jitana hai’ (Cow slaughter must stop, Varun Gandhi must win) and “Varun nahin yeh aandhi hai, doosra Sanjay Gandhi hai (Varun Gandhi is like a storm, he is another Sanjay Gandhi)”. – HT

Says Varun Gandhi of BJP on his campaign trail to make L K Advani the next Prime Minister of India. He is 29. Can you take this? Another nakli Gandhi for like another five decades.

But if there is anyone out there who believes what Varun Gandhi says, like the BJP which might be having gleeful visions of a Saffron Gandhi, they’ll most probably be proven wrong before the 2009 political season ends. Because there is none other more Secular than a Gandhi. It doesn’t matter to a Gandhi if you slaughter a cow, a muslim or a sikh. It doesn’t matter to a Gandhi if you do shilanyas or destroy a mosque or you forcibly castrate a thousand. It doesn’t matter to a Gandhi if you are a tamil terrorist or an Akali radical. Capitalism, socialism or public or private banks don’t matter. Nuclear deal or no deal does not matter. Forcible evictions for a car factory or a Kalawati doesn’t matter. Democracy or Article 356 or Emergency does not matter. All that matters to a Gandhi is the Gandhi’s right to power. In every possible way, a Gandhi is truly secular. Only arguable exception is Mohandas Karamchand asli Gandhi. Then again, even Varun wouldn’t dream of being a doosra Sanjay Gandhi. One reason is India has changed.  But a more persuasive reason is that Sanjay Gandhi’s mother’s name meant ‘India’ at one point in time.

The Gandhis contesting on the Congress ticket at least seem to have come to terms with their mortal nature, given the pre-poll alliances they are building. But some people back home in Kerala seem to be so keenly out of touch with reality (like  nakli Iron Man of India’s website) that they are indeed as Varun nakli Gandhi says ‘raising their middle fingers’ at Hindus.

Like Archbishop Daniel Acharuparambil of the Latin Catholic Church.

The powerful Latin Catholic Church in Kerala has written to Congress president Sonia Gandhi urging the party to consider Hybi Eden, chief of the Congress’ student wing, as party candidate for the Ernakulam Lok Sabha seat. – The Hindu

Powerful‘ as in,

Ironically, whenever the church sponsored a Congress candidate, with public statements and pastoral letters, he lost. Edezhath, a close confidant of the high priests, lost by over 70,000 votes to an LDF independent in 2004. – DNA

Here, as I am located, in the heart of the Ernakulam constituency, this stupid letter which claims even the number of votes Acharuparambil has will do no good to the candidate, the Congress party or the larger Catholic interests but will only help consolidate Hindu and Muslim votes in favour of CPM’s arguably weakest candidate in the state – Sindhu Joy. If Hybi is indeed the candidate and if Sindhu defeats him, Acharuparambil Archbishop will have to wear a uniquely malayali ‘thorthu mundu’ over his head while he ventures out of his den in Varapuzha.

Perhaps what Acharuparambil Archbishop should have done was to take a leaf out of Nair Service Society’s (NSS) Narayana Panicker’s Book of Strategics. This is how it goes – tell the media that you’ll defeat 10 candidates (across 20 constituencies), and tell them that the names are secret. After the election, minimum 20 candidates will be defeated, and then, THEN tell the media how effective you were in defeating 10 people and claim how powerful Samsthakerala Nairs are.

P.S: The two parties, CPM and Congress who fight for the torch of Indian Secularism, could may be go through this very simple test to prove their secularism (at least in the next 20 years) – A Christian Candidate in Malappuram or Ponnani; A Hindu Candidate in Eranakulam and a A Muslim Candidate in Kottayam.(how about next 50 years?)

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4 Responses to Elections 2009: Saffron Gandhi and the Acharubishop

  1. scorpiogenius March 18, 2009 at 3:52 am #

    That Varun Gandhi statements were a shocker.. Although he is now danying that the tapes were forged, its hardly convincing. At least for a London educated folk, we expect a touch more sense.

    And the point about these NSS, Archbishops, Vellapally and co controlling the thinking ability of Keralites, I cant agree more to what you’ve written. It would make a cow laugh, if you look at what these all-in-all ‘leaders’ have vomited out in the past.. And the tale continues…

  2. Payyan March 21, 2009 at 2:15 am #

    but then in kerala, the leaders say something and the people vote in a completely different way. The leaders would anyways keep on saying crap. People in kerala hav become used to tht and treats it as if it comes from snother world completely disconnected from them. i think the anti-incumbency factor overrides everythig else in kerala.

    and wt say abt ponnani? 🙂

  3. BVN March 21, 2009 at 3:22 am #

    Scorpio,
    Thats true! but the final list of Congress looks ok and Hybi is out.Thats some guts you know coming from a weak-kneed entity like congress. I wonder why Vellapally is so silent this time, I love his usual ‘Hit List’ 🙂

    Payyan,
    I think Kerala is essentially tilted to the UDF side by default. Whenever LDF wins there will be a strong anti-incumbency. This time around anti-incumbency could be a general feeling, but not on specific issues. Ponnani and Malappuram are if i’m not wrong abt 60% muslim and Muslim votes are a factor here. Last time the CPM won in Malappuram because Congress seemed to be a very weak alternative at centre as NDA was supposed to come back. But this time INC is the front-runner and there is all chance that (without no ice cream parlour), Muslim votes will come to where they have belonged.

  4. Jacob April 5, 2009 at 1:43 am #

    The church and other religious leaders should not open their mouth about who is to stand for election nor for whom their believers should vote for. We have a secular democracy in India, and any religious or social leader trying to influence their followers, should be dealt in the same way as Varun Gandhi was dealt with. Thrown behind bars. Secularism is a very fragile thing and strong steps are needed to strengthen it.

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