“If anyone raises a finger towards Hindus or if someone thinks that Hindus are weak and leaderless, if someone thinks that these leaders lick our boots for votes, if anyone raises a finger towards Hindus, then I swear on Gita that I will cut that hand.”  – Times

‘Gau hatya rukwana hai, Varun Gandhi ko jitana hai’ (Cow slaughter must stop, Varun Gandhi must win) and “Varun nahin yeh aandhi hai, doosra Sanjay Gandhi hai (Varun Gandhi is like a storm, he is another Sanjay Gandhi)”. – HT

Says Varun Gandhi of BJP on his campaign trail to make L K Advani the next Prime Minister of India. He is 29. Can you take this? Another nakli Gandhi for like another five decades.

But if there is anyone out there who believes what Varun Gandhi says, like the BJP which might be having gleeful visions of a Saffron Gandhi, they’ll most probably be proven wrong before the 2009 political season ends. Because there is none other more Secular than a Gandhi. It doesn’t matter to a Gandhi if you slaughter a cow, a muslim or a sikh. It doesn’t matter to a Gandhi if you do shilanyas or destroy a mosque or you forcibly castrate a thousand. It doesn’t matter to a Gandhi if you are a tamil terrorist or an Akali radical. Capitalism, socialism or public or private banks don’t matter. Nuclear deal or no deal does not matter. Forcible evictions for a car factory or a Kalawati doesn’t matter. Democracy or Article 356 or Emergency does not matter. All that matters to a Gandhi is the Gandhi’s right to power. In every possible way, a Gandhi is truly secular. Only arguable exception is Mohandas Karamchand asli Gandhi. Then again, even Varun wouldn’t dream of being a doosra Sanjay Gandhi. One reason is India has changed.  But a more persuasive reason is that Sanjay Gandhi’s mother’s name meant ‘India’ at one point in time.

The Gandhis contesting on the Congress ticket at least seem to have come to terms with their mortal nature, given the pre-poll alliances they are building. But some people back home in Kerala seem to be so keenly out of touch with reality (like  nakli Iron Man of India’s website) that they are indeed as Varun nakli Gandhi says ‘raising their middle fingers’ at Hindus.

Like Archbishop Daniel Acharuparambil of the Latin Catholic Church.

The powerful Latin Catholic Church in Kerala has written to Congress president Sonia Gandhi urging the party to consider Hybi Eden, chief of the Congress’ student wing, as party candidate for the Ernakulam Lok Sabha seat. – The Hindu

Powerful‘ as in,

Ironically, whenever the church sponsored a Congress candidate, with public statements and pastoral letters, he lost. Edezhath, a close confidant of the high priests, lost by over 70,000 votes to an LDF independent in 2004. – DNA

Here, as I am located, in the heart of the Ernakulam constituency, this stupid letter which claims even the number of votes Acharuparambil has will do no good to the candidate, the Congress party or the larger Catholic interests but will only help consolidate Hindu and Muslim votes in favour of CPM’s arguably weakest candidate in the state – Sindhu Joy. If Hybi is indeed the candidate and if Sindhu defeats him, Acharuparambil Archbishop will have to wear a uniquely malayali ‘thorthu mundu’ over his head while he ventures out of his den in Varapuzha.

Perhaps what Acharuparambil Archbishop should have done was to take a leaf out of Nair Service Society’s (NSS) Narayana Panicker’s Book of Strategics. This is how it goes – tell the media that you’ll defeat 10 candidates (across 20 constituencies), and tell them that the names are secret. After the election, minimum 20 candidates will be defeated, and then, THEN tell the media how effective you were in defeating 10 people and claim how powerful Samsthakerala Nairs are.

P.S: The two parties, CPM and Congress who fight for the torch of Indian Secularism, could may be go through this very simple test to prove their secularism (at least in the next 20 years) – A Christian Candidate in Malappuram or Ponnani; A Hindu Candidate in Eranakulam and a A Muslim Candidate in Kottayam.(how about next 50 years?)