Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think every thing you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned (Fight Club)

Why does Travis Bickle try to kill Charles Palantine everytime I watch the Taxidriver? Why does the caged bird sing ? Why do I blog ?

The “Why” questions, I guess are the toughest to answer, perhaps the blog is a place where you ask questions and find answers to them – like say, a duck does not feel cold because of oil glands in its body and a feet without nerve endings. But then, we asks questions where we have a hint about the answer or at least we know the question. I don’t have much time to stop and think about this, so I thought I’ll jot down whatever comes to mind. If you don’t belong to any of these categories, I can’t help it, its just that I belong to all these categories.

the Kublai Khan Blogger

I can be a hypocrite here like always, but let me take a chance. What sits in the core of my blogging and everything else I do is the burning desire to churn out the whirling thread of Karma, to propagate, sustain and strengthen my DNA strain, to hoot at the top of my voice to other nocturnals inviting them to my nest, to get laid, to sustain my species. I got to admit with deep regret that this blog has failed me terribly in that regard. I am carefully considering other options to push my sex agenda like being a super-spy or a movie star or rather invade a country like Kublai Khan and George Bush did. There are several other sub-headings below but this the mother of all categories.

the Diary Blogger (Adult)

I used to have diary for like three four years. I have entries like “we took the other route while coming back from tuition, that was fun”, I’ve kept the crime and the names secret and now when I realize my brain cells are dying I wish I’d just jotted that down. At that time I was a little unnerved by the prospect of someone finding things out, blog is about addressing that fear. Its about telling the society, this is what I am and I really don’t care if you know.

the St Thomas- Loyola Blogger

The St Thomas – Loyola rivalry means a lot to me, but I cannot write a book on that, there will be very few readers for that. But when Kattakayam writes “We won the St. Thomas trophy that year and the next but were trounced for the loyola cup in 96..the only one that mattered for our boys.” – blogs become our publishers and the search engines our distributor. Our tiny stories may not be important for the world, but it means a world to a lot of us. Thank goodness we live in the twenty first century and we have the tools. We may not be as important as Model and Rajput but we too have stories. My St Thomas, Jiby’s Loyola and ‘our’ chicks from Holy Angels. I don’t like to profile a person on my blogroll, if I hate anything its the ‘collablog‘ but what Jiby writes is without exaggerations ‘Genuine’ – far deadlier than my esoteric ambiance.

the funny bone collector

“Doctors at MAIMS have conducted an autopsy on Mota’s body. An FIR has been lodged against him and his body was questioned for over four hours.” Its not only that dead bodies are funny with all the powder and stuff, I was jolted out of my extreme prejudice that chicks can’t balance humor when I read Silver’s post. She continues to own humor with a weird consistency.

It is important to laugh at ourselves, the society and George Bush and some of us are doing a heck of a job there.

the Hidden secret blogger – the beautiful one

Folklore has it that if you have a secret, it makes you more beautiful. Blogs are a second home for us. When the manager says “your performance this quarter on the new business generation front is below par”, we say *Mr Manager, I’m plotting in my blog to overthrow everything you hold sacred , tonight I’m musing on what happened four minutes after the creation of the universe and you the loser, is sitting here talking to me about new business which you and I know is bullshit. I know you can’t write a line like me. I know your wife beats you. I feel pity for your sheer insignificance on a cosmic scale. I own the cosmos, I have a blog and I’m beautiful*

the HumptyDumpty blogger

When this new kid is better than you at work and gets all the attention, you think I have a blog, I have a life. When you see a better blogger, you think I have a better job, I have a life. You are a lonely person, you want to scream out and be admired. You are fed up of the world and want to hide from fake admirers. Everyday you think of deleting it all and starting afresh. You are confused and bitter on not accomplishing anything anywhere. But instead of blogging tonight like a lonely man, you go to a party, you are again the lonely animal there. You are God’s lonely man, the chosen one and you bleed.

the Apocalypse blogger

You are the Oliver Stone of blogging. You want to write “FUCK” on your blog as many times as possible because its indecent. You refuse to live in a world which refuses to think. The world would rather that you have a blog than a gun.

the Ambiance blogger

You like the way you concentrate when you blog, like a conversation with your self. Its not the output, but the sheer ambiance. The juice, the lake, the chain of smoke, the music. Its like watching television, its you and your blog, everything else is foreign.

the Creator – the all powerful

River’s wrote once (in her blog)

See, I can see
things. The lust
in the toad’s eyes, the pretty
holes in the scarf, the strange shift
of the right eyebrow. I am the word-twister,
the shape-shark, witness to love and age and death
and any other cliché you can think of. I can make trivial
things seem momentous, historic, vital, meaningful. I can make
you shed a tear
for a toad’s love
for an old woman.

A writer (Mohanlal) said to his main character(Sreenivasan),

“I decide things here. Today I can make that beautiful girl fall in love with you, tomorrow I can kill your character with dysentery”

I got this email for a post of mine,

“Have you ever considered any real freedoms? Freedoms from the opinion of others… even the opinions of yourself? – was reading tht in ur blog..is there a real freedom?.. from the moment you are conceived.. u r tied..first by the umbilical cord, then..by countless promises and expectations, then more promises, more expectations.. U r not supposed to be free.. for the day you are free..you become the creator..because only a creator is free of freedom..he is above tht..beyond tht..”

There are many of us who think about that, some see the light and painful responsibility of that. Its scary and not to be attempted without a strong smell of cocaine.

Let me keep it simple, its simple if you think, I have a strong sense that this is why I blog,

“I’ll tell you why. I think you’re a lonely person. I drive by this place a lot and I see you here. I see a lot of people around you. And I see all these phones and all this stuff on your desk. It means nothing. Then when I came inside and I met you, I saw in your eyes and I saw the way you carried yourself that you’re not a happy person. And I think you need something. And if you want to call it a friend, you can call it a friend.”